Night in the Rotten Apple

A buddy and I were sitting at a Sealane diner in New Jersey. We thought it would be a good night to party in the rotten qpple. So we called a taxi and qsked the driver where there was a good place to party. So he took us to a dive in upper New York. I felt it was like Archie's place! They were just a bunch of old guys, so we decided to go. I split my money up and stuck it in all of my pockets. I figured it was a smart thing to do. We started walking towards 42nd street. That got old fast, so we stuck out our thumbs. We got picked up by a van that had a chopper in it. Them guys were very cool. They knew the right place to go! We had a lot of fun! They dropped us off at 42nd street. We were just walking around, when a young babe stepped in front of me and immediately pulled her top up. There was about four girls standing behind me with their hands all over me digging in my pockets. I grabbed my wallet and keys; it was all I had left. No big deal. So we walked on. Pretty soon a little kid came up to us and wanted to sell us a nickelbag. We must have looked like suckers. It was just toliet paper wrapper in zig zags. Too funny! So we walked on. My buddy found a girlfriend but she wouldn't come out of the shadows. I told him no, but he wouldn't listen. She musta been one hundred! That was the last time I ever saw him. When i got to the sealane, his truck was gone, so I walked on. The city never really sleeps. The bars only have to be closed for an hour, but they don't close at the same time. I went into a strip joint. I met a girl from Brazil. I offered to buy her a drink, but they just gave her the mix. They threw me out after awhile. So I went into a different bar and had another one, but went back to the strip club. After she danced, I offered her another drink but she said no. She liked talking to me. When they through me out the next time, they weren't so nice. They actually picked me up and through me in the street. I came back a half hour later and they were waiting for me at the door. So I walked on. I had no idea what time it was because I never carried a watch. Like I cared. I saw something glowing in the sky. I thought one of those damn buildihgs was one fire! The first time I went to the big city, I wondered where all the people lived. Where I come from, people live in houses. I had no idea they lived in skyscrapers. It must have been late cause the sun was coming up. That was the glowing from the sky. So I thought it was time for me go, but how would I? I didn't have enough money for a taxi. I didn't even know the address of the Sealane. So I followed the bums into the Grand Central Station, but the cops threw us out after awhile. So I walked on. I finally figured out what bus would go under the river. So I got on. I told the driver how much money I had so he threw me out after we were under the river. I kinda knew where I was but not exactly. So I called a taxi. I thought I had enough money in my truck but I didn't. I told him to keep the meter running, and he followed me to Rubes. Of course, Rube didn't want to take a check more then what the fuel was, but he did. So I went to nebisco's to load.